Inner Demons Page 4

  “Alright, no more excuses. You’re coming back with us.”

  Mack let my fingers go. “Like I said, the only reason I am is to help you.”

  “Fine. Sounds good to me.” We made our way across the room, but before we opened the door, I glanced over at him. “You know, you’re going to have to forgive yourself one day.”

  He didn’t look at me, and I could sense he wanted to argue with me that it would never happen. I slipped my hand back into his. He shot a glance at me.

  “I’ve forgiven you, Mack. We managed to be best friends with Sammy stuck in the middle of us before. Maybe we can again.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “Sammy underestimated you—always thinking you were the one who needed saving. I think she had it backward.”

  I stared after Mack as he opened the door. Although the slump was gone from his shoulders, his stride still wasn’t the confident one I knew. That was because there was one more person to face. Blake.

  I couldn’t help but think about what he’d said. Was I really stronger than Sammy had given me credit for? In the caves with Jaxon, I’d felt something claw at me, wanting to take over. It was the closest thing I had to knowing what Sammy felt like. That feeling had stuck with me ever since. I hadn’t let her win that day. Did that make Sammy angry? Or did it make her go away forever?

  My internal struggle was interrupted by Blake sizing Mack up and saying, “If there’s anything you should tell me, anything you haven’t already, do it now, Mack.”

  Mack didn’t hesitate. “There’s nothing, I swear.”

  “Alright,” Blake said, capping Mack’s shoulder with his hand. “Let’s get out of here and get some food. I’m starving.”

  I stared as the guys fell easily back into teasing one another, with Blake telling Mack he looked like a skinny girl with long hair. As I followed, I wondered if it could really be that simple with guys. I shrugged it off on the way back to Tonbo’s office. Blake’s seeming ease with Mack was a huge relief. Maybe things can get back to normal. Well, as normal as things get for me.

  Chapter 7

  “Nothing will be the same,” Tonbo declared while pulling Mack into a hug. Not exactly the words I would have chosen for a welcome back, but Mack didn’t seem to mind. “But that’s okay. We’re all in uncharted territory here.”

  For some reason, the words uncharted territory stirred up a memory of my dad talking to my mom. At the time, they’d been referring to me not being quite Samantha or Sammy. Since becoming a damsel, I wasn’t either of the two. My parents weren’t sure how to handle me.

  “I know,” Mack said when Tonbo released him. “And I’m willing to do whatever it takes to re-earn your trust, Tonbo.”

  “I know, my boy, I know. Come on. Let’s have a nice meal together before you all retire for the evening.” Tonbo patted Mack’s back.

  To me, Tonbo added, “With Mack’s help, Samantha, I’ll have a much clearer view of what you’re made up of. That’s part of the reason I’ve been begging Blake to bring you back to me.”

  Slightly jarred by Tonbo’s ever-blunt words, I could only nod as Blake’s hand slid over mine. He gave my fingers a gentle squeeze.

  “That… and I’d like to have a talk with Sammy, if you don’t mind,” he finished. Blake’s hand tightened reflexively, squeezing my fingers in the process.

  “Tonbo, what are you talking about?” Blake asked, releasing his grip on mine when I gasped. To me, he mouthed, “Sorry.” He’d misunderstood my gasp. Sure, my hand didn’t feel great, but it was Tonbo’s words that were making it hard for me to breathe. Talk to Sammy?

  The anger I saw in Blake’s expression led me to believe this was news to him. I glanced at Mack, whose chalk-white complexion and widened eyes appeared shocked as well.

  Tonbo glanced at the three of us. “Oh, maybe I should’ve told you that after we’d eaten. I’d like to ask Sammy some questions, that’s all.”

  “That’s all?” Blake asked, folding his arms across his chest. “What are you talking about? Sammy’s gone.”

  Tonbo scratched his temple. “Maybe she is, and maybe she isn’t. Either way, I think I can access the parts of Samantha’s brain where Sammy’s memories are stored. They’re in there; we just have to get to them.”

  “I don’t know, Tonbo… that doesn’t sound very safe,” Blake said, his eyes meeting mine.

  “The best thing would be to talk to Sammy herself,” Tonbo continued as if he hadn’t heard Blake at all. “And since Mack helped me map her genetic code, I feel confident that talking to Sammy will be quite safe. If she’s still around, that is.”

  “Mack?” Blake cut in.

  He immediately threw his hands up. “I had no idea about any of this, Blake. I only told him what I knew about the serum. I figured Samantha would want to know what Kate and… Sammy did to her.”

  Blake’s jaw bulged as he took a deep breath in through his nose. I worried he’d blurt out, “You mean what you did to her,” when he opened his mouth, but he didn’t. “You’re helping him bring Sammy back?” He glared at Mack.

  Mack stuttered to respond.

  “Now wait just a minute here,” Tonbo cut in. “Everyone’s getting all worked up for no reason. Mack only helped me with her DNA coding, Blake. No one is trying to bring Sammy back… at least not in the way you’re thinking. I’m only proposing putting Samantha into a hypnotic state where I might be able to summon Sammy, if she still exists. If she doesn’t, I can induce a deep relaxation. With the aid of a few pharmaceuticals, we can tap into her subconscious where Sammy’s memories are stored.”

  “Hypnosis won’t work,” I said, my voice sounding flat and emotionless. I was amazed considering the wars raging within. Talk to Sammy? After the initial shock of the idea, I had to admit the thought of it both excited and terrified me. I had so many questions for her. So many things I wanted to understand better. She was a part of who I was and yet, she was a complete stranger to me.

  Everyone’s eyes were on me. I continued. “They tried it before, when I was a kid. My parents said it was to help me get over the drowning, but now I realize they were probably trying to get rid of Sammy. Either way, I never went under.”

  Tonbo grinned. “You would if I did it.” Blake shook his head. “Tonbo, it’s not going to happen.”

  “Why not?” I blurted, cutting off Tonbo’s response.

  Blake’s eyes riveted on me, looking surprised that I’d even asked.

  “Because, it’s too risky,” Mack answered for him, his tone sounding defeated. “Tonbo, you have to admit there’s a chance that if you put her under and Sammy emerges, she might not go away.”

  I directed my gaze to the floor, trying to ignore Blake’s direct stare. How could I explain to him the need I felt inside? He just didn’t get how important it was to me to know what had happened. To know why Sammy did what she did… and more importantly, what she had planned for the future. Something inside screamed that even if she was gone, or suppressed for now, the plan she’d hatched and put into play with Kate was still in motion. The fact that Kate had suddenly disappeared only solidified the fears I had.

  I need to know more… It’s the only way I won’t be the victim again. That I’ll be the one in control.

  “That chance is extremely small,” Tonbo said.

  “But there’s a chance,” Blake said. “So the answer is no.”

  I glared at him. Shouldn’t this be my decision? Even the knowledge he was refusing because he feared losing me frustrated me. Why would he get the final say on the matter?

  “I see I struck a nerve here,” Tonbo said. I wondered why he had been so keen on it in the first place until he added, “We will find other ways to get answers to the ancients disappearing.”

  Blake’s eyebrows shot up. “You think Sammy had something to do with it?”

  Tonbo met my gaze. “I’m not sure. Just a theory at this point.”

  “Tonbo…” I took a step toward him. “What do you t
hink happened?”

  I felt Blake tense up next to me, but that was nothing to how pale Mack had become. He looked green, like he might puke at any second.

  “Sammy appeared the last time you were here. As you know, she took over while we were in the theater. I didn’t know about Sammy then, but if I had,” Tonbo shot Mack and Blake accusing glares. “I never would have let you, or her, out of my sight. As it was, I sent you to your room. Thought you just needed some rest.”

  I nodded, holding my breath while my heartbeat seemed to speed up with each word he uttered. This was exactly what I wanted to know. What was Sammy up to? What did she do during that time?

  “Sammy was left alone the rest of the evening,” Tonbo continued. “We didn’t check on you until the morning. By then, we discovered you were gone. Sammy had left a note behind, so we assumed you’d just flown home.”

  “Wait, she left a note?” I asked. “Do you still have it?”

  Tonbo scratched his chin. “I don’t think so… Well, actually, I might.” He hurried over to his desk, rummaging through a few drawers. “I haven’t cleaned out my desk in a while. Guess my bad housekeeping skills can come in handy.” He straightened and held out a folded piece of paper. “Like today. Looks like we are in luck.”

  I rushed over, scared someone else might beat me to it. The paper felt cool to the touch. It was strange to hold something Sammy had created. It was concrete proof she had or did exist. The paper betrayed my shaking hands. Suddenly, I was terrified to see her handwriting. Would it look like mine? Blake touched my arm, letting me know he was near. His closeness gave me courage. I took a deep breath and unfolded it.

  Tonbo, thank you for all your hospitality. It began. The handwriting was a tight cursive. Definitely not penned by me. I blinked and continued reading.

  Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m flying home. I have a lot on my mind, and I just need some alone time to sort it all out. I’ve been worried about my family’s safety with the bug at large. I’d feel better if I was home with them right now.

  I’ve asked Kate for directions back and feel confident I will make it fine. Please tell Mack and Blake to be careful destroying the bug. I won’t rest until they are home safe.

  I want to thank you for taking the time to run analytical tests on me. I hope you find the results insightful. I’m sure they will be easily deciphered by your astute mind. I look forward to discussing your findings when we meet again. I consider you one of the greatest minds of our time, and it was a pleasure to meet you in person.

  -Sammy

  I re-read the words. Seeing Sammy scrawled at the bottom made my stomach tighten.

  Blake must have read it from over my shoulder because he grunted. “Do you even know what astute means?”

  “Not really.” I refolded the paper, tucking into my jean pocket. There wasn’t much to the note, but they were Sammy’s words. I wanted to keep it. “So you just assumed she went home?” I asked Tonbo.

  He shrugged. “I had no reason to doubt her actions. If I’d known,” he shot another glare at the guys, “it wouldn’t have happened.”

  “Okay, you’re right, Tonbo,” Blake admitted. “I should’ve told you.”

  “So why do you think Sammy might have something to do with the ancients disappearing, Tonbo?” I asked, not wanting to get too far off subject.

  Tonbo shrugged. “I don’t have anything solid, really. Just curious what the girl’s motivations really were. I have a hunch we haven’t seen the last of her.”

  I wanted to blurt, “Me too!” but Blake wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I glanced up to see concern in his aqua eyes. He’s worried I can’t handle this. Part of me wanted to scream at him, But this is what I need to talk about! While the other half of me felt my knees go weak when I heard Tonbo confirm my own suspicions.

  “You know, I think we’d all feel much better with some food,” Blake said, his tone firm.

  Tonbo glanced in my direction, hesitated, and then agreed. He and Mack led the way out of the office. I tried to convince Blake I was totally fine, but it was hard to hide the rush of adrenaline making my body shake and my teeth chatter.

  He wrapped an arm around my waist as he steered us through the door. “Don’t let Tonbo’s words get to you, Sam. I think Sammy’s long gone.”

  I knew he meant well, but the way he kept sweeping the reality of Sammy under the rug was getting irritating. I want answers. Not food.

  Chapter 8

  Kate’s gone and Mack’s acting weird. I chose to believe he wasn’t hiding something, but that it was guilt eating at him. Either way, I was frustrated. The more I thought about Tonbo’s proposal, the better it sounded to me. What could be the harm in accessing Sammy’s memories? That wouldn’t be like summoning her, so there should be no real risk. I’d used these very arguments with Blake after dinner, and he’d shot them all down.

  He couldn’t understand why I wanted to know what Sammy had done. He wouldn’t even agree to ask Jaxon more about me. He felt it wouldn’t help anything and would only cause me more pain. What did he know? It then led to me telling Blake in the middle of Tonbo’s gardens that I was done with other people deciding what was best for me. Even with him assuring me that was not at all what he was trying to do, at that moment, my irritation won out. I cringed at the memory of storming off, telling him I needed a night alone, to sort things out. I grunted at the irony of using Sammy’s very words from the note.

  Now, lying in my bed alone, I couldn’t decide if I wanted to throw something across the room or apologize. Other than when I’d accused him of being the monster, Blake and I had never quarreled like this before.

  I glanced at my bed. The paper lay there, almost mocking me. The words themselves weren’t notable, other than sounding like they were written by a professor, but something called to me in them. I flipped over on to my stomach and read each sentence over again. Was Sammy leaving this note just for Tonbo’s eyes? Or could there be a message in there for me too? It seemed strange our penmanship would be so different. I guess I thought it’d look at least a little bit like mine, messy and childlike. Instead, her tight cursive seemed oddly out of place.

  A soft knock broke my concentration. I quickly refolded the note and stuffed it into my pocket again. Even though it was past ten, I hadn’t changed my clothes. I wiped my eyes, trying to hide the fact I’d been crying.

  “Come in.” I called, standing up. I figured it’d be Blake. Maybe he decided it was time we talked again. I wasn’t sure where my feelings were. Would I be the one to say sorry first?

  Mack’s head appeared through the doorframe. “You sure? It’s me.”

  “Oh.” I cleared my throat, and then forced a grin, “Yes, of course.” It wasn’t that I didn’t want to see Mack, but my heart was pretty torn up over my argument with Blake.

  He shuffled in, his eyes never leaving my face. Not sure what else to do, I sat back down on my bed. Mack didn’t hesitate to sit right next to me. Good. I wasn’t in the mood for him to mope. I cringed. I’m the mopey one tonight.

  “So what’s going on?” he asked, bumping me with his shoulder.

  “I’d rather not talk about Blake right now,” I blurted, surprised he was here to play mediator in couple’s therapy.

  “I don’t mean with Blake. With you. Why do you want to access Sammy’s memories so bad?”

  I glanced over at him, realizing what would come with Sammy’s memories. Lots of personal time with Mack. I felt my flush face. That wasn’t the reason I wanted to remember. Was it?

  “I don’t know. I just can’t shake this feeling that whatever Sammy and Kate started when they changed me isn’t over.”

  Mack flinched at my words, but he recovered quickly. “I don’t think Sammy had any plans other than becoming a damsel. At least, Kate didn’t tell me anything else.”

  “Well, not to be rude, Mack, but Sammy and Kate didn’t always clue you in on their plans.”

  Mack relented with a tight laug
h. “Can’t argue with that.”

  “Don’t you find it odd that Kate just happens to be missing now? Even Tonbo’s wondering if Sammy had something to do with the ancients’ abductions. He wants to talk to her, for crying out loud.”

  Mack grunted. “I think Tonbo’s a curious man. He enjoys getting information wherever he can. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s why he wants to talk to Sammy. Just to see if he can do it.”

  I stared at Mack. “Are you serious? That’s messed up.”

  He shrugged. “Maybe it is. I don’t know. The line between right and wrong blurred years ago for me.”

  I didn’t want him to ponder his own statement. Whenever he remembered the cabin events, he shut down on me. I couldn’t have him do that tonight.

  “I feel like something happened when she left Tonbo’s theater that night,” I said, directing the conversation back.

  “What makes you think that? The note said she just went home.”

  “Yeah, but when you and I showed up that day, my mom acted like that was the first time she’d seen me,” I pointed out.

  “Yeah, you’re right. But as a damsel in camo, Sammy could have easily stayed off your mom’s radar if she’d wanted to.”

  “Exactly. So what was she up to? She left the theater, and then I woke up in Jaxon’s cave. Aren’t you curious to know what she did during that time?”

  Mack sighed. “Actually, I’d rather not think about it.”

  “Because you know I’m right. Sammy can’t be trusted.”

  He glanced over, but he didn’t say anything.

  “What’s driving me crazy is the fact that the only ways I know how to figure this out Blake won’t even consider.”